8th November 2001 Issue by Malcolm Ward  

The Official Newsletter of Chiddingfold FC Under-12's

I’m just going outside, I may be some time. I’ve got an appointment with Arctic Life & Pensions

T.Oates, 1912

18th December 2001



It’s up and running! Yes, the entire world can now follow the boys’ activities! Lionel has created the Official Chiddingfold FC Under-12’s Website. Just log on to:

and follow your nose. Lionel has done a terrific job. There are fixtures, results, match reports, general news items and an online version of One-Two! – with the libelous bits removed!

It’s got great graphics, is regularly updated and can, of course, be accessed from anywhere in the world. We’re really grateful to Lionel for all his creativity and hard work.

Christmas Dates

Christmas is nearly upon us and we’ve got the last training session of the year this coming SATURDAY, 22ND DECEMBER. We’re going to have a LEAGUE TEAM v NON-LEAGUE TEAM CHRISTMAS CELEBRATION MATCH and, following their 9-0 thrashing of Ewhurst two weeks ago, the Non-Leaguers are very confident. 9am as usual – be there.

We start again on Saturday, 5th January 2001


Quote of the Month

Malcolm (coach) after training   'Who's left this coat behind? Come on,,,, WHOSE IS IT? Can't you lot ever remember to take your coats home?? And it looks like someone paid a lot of money for it!!'  ,,,, ,,,, (no response) ' Oh for #~@!%'s sake, COME ON ! Some one must recognise it'

J. Taylor  'Err, I think it's your boy's, isn't it?'

Christmas Competition

Warwick got a black eye because:

a)     He was hit by accident in a squash match

b)    He went to Millwall and asked for directions

c)     He got drunk at his firm’s Christmas party and told the boss to come outside if he thought he was hard enough

d)     He told Helen she should read Nigella Bites and she might learn a thing or two


I think Warwick got a black eye because .................................................................

(answers on a postcard or email)

For result of vote see next One-Two! A Mars Bar for the best alternative suggestion.

(He beat himself senseless attempting to get JB to understand the passing concept!,, Web Ed)


Kit Catastrophe



Did you know? …….

Julian McEvoy sings for the Godalming Choral Society. They were very well received at their most recent concert, a performance of Poulenc’s Stabat Mater, Beethoven’s Mass in C and the rarely heard Mozart K29 Football’s Comin’ Home in F major.





8th November 2001 Issue by Malcolm Ward


The Official Newsletter of Chiddingfold FC Under-12's


Sponsored by Arctic Life & Pensions - don't let your savings melt away!

The boys are well into the season now and, so far, the weather hasn't been anywhere near as horrendous as last year. Training has gone well, thanks in large part to the coherent strategy developed by Ian Jones, the Tord Grip of Chiddingfold (see article).

Julian `Mr. Friendly' McEvoy (or `II Amico' as he was known at Fiorentina) has also already set up a program of Saturday morning friendlies for those boys who don't get a chance to play regularly on Sundays and they are performing exceptionally well. If they're not careful we'll set them up as a proper Chiddingfold B League team.

The Milford boys and coaches have all mixed in really easily with the Chidd boys and, in Hassan S, have supplied the star of the season so far.

Even more important, Callum’s Mum Mandy has volunteered to do the oranges every Sunday and has now been appointed the Official Chiddingfold FC Citrus Consultant.

It's also great to have the use of the hut again and it was with great pleasure that we put back up the 'This is Chiddingfold' sign above the inside of the door, to put the wind up the opposition just like they do at Liverpool FC.

Foreigners at Chiddingfold

And Liverpool aren't the only Premiership team we take after. Chelsea attracted a lot of comment last season for the number of foreign stars they signed, and the influx of Milford boys led me to check the records.

Did you know that last season, out of 27 boys and girls coming to training, just 9 were from the village and 18 were from outside?

The locals were Hannah A., Jonathan B, Chris B, Hollie D, Charlie H, Will H, Lewis J, Ross and Theo W. We also had four from Witley (Scott, Ollie E, Harry J, James O.), three from Godalming (`AX I, Oliver M, James W), three from Haslemere (Jeremy H, Greg K, Anthony M) two from Wormley (George A, Daniel M) and one each from Dunsfold (Jonathan B), Grayswood (Josh T), Hydestile (Will C), Northchapel (Danny W) and Plaistow (Ben R).

This season, of the 24 currently coming along, 9 are from the village (Jonathan B, Chris B, Hollie D, Charlie H, Will H, Lewis J, Ross L, Kirk Q, Theo W), 4 from Witley (Jonathan B, Scott, Harry J, James O), 3 from Elstead (Nicholas C, Rupert H, Hassie S), 2 each from Haslemere (Greg K, Anthony M) and Wormley ((Daniel M, John T) and 1 each from Enton (Callum S), Godalming (James W), Grayswood (Josh T), Midhurst (Carl S) and Plaistow (Ben R).

So although the percentage of `foreign' players has actually gone down (from 67% to 62'A%) after the influx of Milford boys, it's safe to say that, in the modest words of Chelsea Managing Director Cohn Hutchinson, `Of course we're a Continental side, now'.

The Quiet Man

The boys are at an age when they should be able to have the beginnings of an understanding of tactics. So when coach Jon Taylor suggested that someone give a quick, simple, 5 minute tactical talk in the `quiet' period when the boys are having a break and a drink of water half way through training, the obvious candidate was coach Ian Jones. Ian has played to a high standard (he once turned down a trial for Chelsea) and has also not been able to contribute as much as he would like, due to an ongoing back injury.

Ian agreed to take up the role but asked the coaches to meet him the night before he started, to check that we were thinking along the same lines. We were all flabbergasted by the amount of work and thinking he had put into it.

It's true to say that training has often been a reaction to problems identified at the previous week's league match. Ian has thought out a proper strategy, a simply expressed, common sense plan of action, which includes laminated sheets (shortly to be given to each boy) relevant to each position in the team, describing precisely what needs to be done to succeed in that role. The end result should be that boys and coaches see everything that is done in training as a logical part of a simple, coherent strategy.

Watch this space!

It's Good to Talk

If you're son is a regular 1st team member and is unable to play or train the next weekend, please let us know as soon as possible. It means we can plan training properly and saves a lot of last minute panicking on a Saturday.

Pay up, pay up and play the game

Some of you have still not paid your subscription for the year. It's £25 for League players and £20 for Saturdays only, which works out at between 30p and 40p per hour over a season. Pay Ian or we send the lads around.


There are a couple of changes to the League fixtures - see sheet handed out today (thanks again Warwick). (Also check website under ‘FIXTURES’)

As well as today's Friendly away to Ewhurst (B-team), you should also make a note of:

8th December, Home to Ewhurst (kick-off 9.3Oam)

and we will shortly have a return fixture with Farncombe Boys arranged.


For those boys playing in friendly matches, we used to always just provide a shirt for them to wear. However, they're doing so well, that we think it will make it more fun, and more of an occasion, if we provide the full strip. So they will usually wear the classy, all-white Chiddingfold FC away strip for every match.

THEY'RE BACK - Return of the Green Shorts

It's a mystery worthy of Agatha Christie. The pair of green 1st team shorts, which have been missing for a year, have turned up! Someone has furtively slipped them into the laundry bag one Sunday after a match. A Mars bar to anyone leading us to the culprit (paid for by the culprit).



Scott's dad Lionel, IT Consultant to the team, has nearly got the OFFICIAL UNDER-12 WEBSITE ready to go. Linked to the Chiddingfold FC website (which is itself linked to the village website - it will have match reports, league tables, an online One-Two! and a host of imaginative items designed to waste many happy hours surfing. Watch this space (again)! (and of course you’ve found it as you are reading this. - Lionel J )



Those of you who came on the magical trip to Germany two years ago will remember Honorary President of Chiddingfold FC Supporters Abroad, my brother Colin Ward. You may like to know that he and Berti got married a couple of months ago (after 17 years together!). We went over and had a terrific time, starting with beer and sausages at 1 0.30am, followed by beer and sausages at lunch, then the ceremony, followed by beer and sausages in the afternoon right up until - well, more beer and sausages for dinner. It was a truly great day - made even more special by the 5-1 score in nearby Munich that night. We nearly ruptured our mouths trying to keep the smirks at bay.

MATCH REPORTS are in under the 'Reports' page