FLYING FIFTEENS

                 The Official Newsletter of Chiddingfold FC Under-15’s

                                                                                         www.lionelshq.co.uk

 

Drinks sponsor - AB Carpet Cleaning Services

 

BUMPER MEGA SOUVENIR 2004/5 EDITION!

29th July 2005

Finally, after months of waiting, a Flying Fifteens newsletter! This is the one they’ve been waiting for. This is the one for which they’ve been queueing all around Chiddingfold and out along the Petworth Road to Haslemere. Amazon Books have an all time record of pre-ordered deliveries to make, there have been competitions to interview the stars of the squad, security has been at unprecedented levels and the police have only just contained a near riot which broke out when reclusive Flying Fifteens author JK Ward was spotted having a Magnum outside the Spar in Chiddingfold. ‘I feel terrible keeping all my fans waiting so long for a newsletter’, said Ward in a statement released today. ‘I’ve just had such a busy year and, what with the Christmas concert, the trip to Germany and everything, there just hasn’t been time to put a newsletter together. I hope they’ll feel it’s been worth the wait.’

 

And here it is …

 

NEW SPONSOR SIGNED UP

The minute it was announced in the press that we were looking for an appropriate corporate sponsor for the boys’ half-time drinks this season, the phone never stopped ringing. Schweppes, Coca-Cola, Virgin – everyone wanted to be associated with the boys’ exciting, free-flowing brand of football and, of course, their image as health conscious, sober, well brought up young men of impeccable sportsmanship. All were turned down as not fitting with the club’s vision, mission and values (Richard Branson was particularly devastated).

All, that is, until we were put in touch with AB Carpet Cleaning Services by citrus consultant Pat North. A series of intensive interviews with proprietor Alan Bixley convinced the club that AB had the required corporate profile and the deal was done. As well as running a first rate business, there is no hint of scandal in Alan’s background. In his spare time he was for a long time active in the Shalford Scouts Group and is a keen helper at the Hollycombe Visitor Centre at Liphook, where he can indulge his great passion for steam traction engines.

The club is most grateful to Pat for negotiating the fine detail of our agreement. It means the boys are supplied with fresh mango juice (recommended as the most quickly digested and nutritious half-time drink by the FA) at every match. Many thanks Pat!

AB Carpet Cleaning Services, in Bramley, have supplied and distributed carpet cleaning materials and equipment, as well as providing a superlative cleaning service, for 20 years. They work for schools and local authorities and also private homes, giving ‘the best possible service at the best possible price’.

Most of their business is from personal recommendation, so the next time you want your carpets cleaned, why not give Alan a ring at:

AB Carpet Cleaning Services, 36 Birtley Road, Bramley, Guildford, Surrey, GU5 0JQ. Tel: 01483 898298.

Say the word ‘Mango’ and I’m sure you’ll get a discount!

 

TRIP TO BAVARIA

For the second time in five years the team went out to visit our friends in Wessling, southern Germany to take part in an international football tournament this June. They had a terrific time, were excellent ambassadors for the club, came second out of five in the competition, chatted up some German girls, went boating and diving in a lake, slept hardly at all, got on famously with the other teams and generally did us proud; more later in the newsletter.

 

 

 

 

                 The line up of those who traveled to Wessling, June, 2005

 

 

 

OATRIDGE OUTREACH

Mike, father of top defender Kirk, together with Kirk’s Mum Jo, is restarting Chiddingfold Youth Club, to give the youth of the village somewhere to go in the evenings. They’ve been negotiating with the Parish Council, obtained grants and funding and are basically looking good.

As a result, they’ve been invited to send a team to represent the new youth club at a Youth Club Tournament on Saturday 6th August – to be held at Chelsea’s fabulous new training ground at Cobham. Several of our chaps are taking part, although Mike has only been able to invite boys who live in or near Chiddingfold. We’ll let you know how they get on.

 

SEASON 2004/5

It’s been an up and down season for the boys this time. Superb performances against the bigger teams were offset by disappointing ones against teams we should have beaten comfortably. At one point, we thought we had blown our chances of getting into the Premier Division (the league had the same procedure as last season, splitting the divisions into Premier and First half-way through the fixture list) but the chaps fought their way back into contention and made it to the Premier in the end.

There has been intense competition for every place in the team, the chaps have always played with enormous spirit and enjoyment and, having survived the now legendary Battle of Molesey, got their reward with a hugely enjoyable trip to Germany last month.

The opposite end of the sportsmanship spectrum was demonstrated by our hosts and good friends SC Wessling. When star striker Jonathan Bn scored with an unstoppable smash into the roof of the net, the Wessling goalkeeper shook hands with him on his way back for the restart.

 

END OF SEASON AWARDS

We had a great time at our end-of-season barbecue, and it was especially nice to see Greg K (who has been out all season through injury) there as well as Chiddingfold legend Danny W making a hugely popular return.

Here are the award winners:

Sportsman of the Year - Josh

 

Players’ Player of the Year :

Gold medal:      Mike  

Silver medal:     Daryl

Bronze medal:   Eddie

 

Most Improved Player:

Gold medal:      Jamie G

Silver medal:     Dan

Bronze medal:   Reece

 

Player of the Year:

Gold medal:      Scott

Silver medal:     Theo

Bronze medal:   Mike 

 

Supporter of the Year :

Anne Jackson

 

who, in the words of her citation won at the Battle of Molesey –

‘...called the boy a thug … then … actually gestured to the boy to come on as if she wanted a fight.’

I can honestly say there wasn’t a dry eye in the house when Anne went up to receive her award – nobody could stop laughing.

 

THANK YOU’s

I know I speak on behalf of all the coaches when I say thank you so much for the incredibly generous end-of-season gifts. The wine was much appreciated and Lizzie and I had lunch with our money at Jamie Oliver’s ‘15’ brasserie in London last month, which was utterly fab. (Had we eaten in the posh restaurant area downstairs, we would have been in the ‘Under-15’ – BOOM-BOOM.)

 

NEXT SEASON 2005/ 6

I’m delighted to say that the League have placed us (and close rivals Bookham) in the First Division with all the villages for next season. There are several new teams – Dorking FC and Guildford City amongst them – who have just joined the league and, because they have large catchment areas, they have gone into the Premier Division.

This means that we get the best of both worlds – there should be more victories, more sportsmanship and a lot more fun in the league games, and we still have the cup games to show the bigger teams what they’re missing.

Above all, in their GCSE year, Sunday mornings will be something the boys can really look forward to.

 

ERRATUM

I mentioned in the previous Flying Fifteens that the club had spent £20,000 on draining and redesigning the pitches; the figure was actually £50,000.

DID YOU KNOW? … 1

Goalkeeper Mike’s dad Martin went out to buy a new car early in the season. He was supposed to get a Ford Mondeo. He came back with a 3-litre Alfa Romeo.

QUOTE OF THE MONTH - AUGUST

Scott’s dad Lionel reporting on one of last summer’s kickabouts at Grayswood:

‘And it pains me to say it, but our team lost 8-4. Scott scored 7 of their goals … it took him 2 hours to walk home to Witley.’

SHOELESS JAMES W

Shoeless Joe Jackson was a legendary American baseball player. We have our own version. James W turned up for the first session last season in football boots, which are a no-no at the Edge. Undeterred, he played the session in socks. When we’re training on the astroturf at the Edge, it’s a good idea to wear proper astroturf trainers, especially designed for use on the surface (they cost around £25).

 

DID YOU KNOW? … 2

Will’s Mum Helen went to school in the Wirral with David S’s Dad Colin. They lived just up the road from each other.

 

QUOTE OF THE MONTH – SEPTEMBER

I’ll be like a startled gazelle’

a confident Ben Br, who had joined the Edge gym for something to do while waiting for Jonathan to finish training.

 

OATRIDGE OUTRAGE

Star centre back Kirk was badly injured earlier in the season, but summed up the spirit of the squad by turning up on crutches for training the following week.

It would be nice to report that Kirk, who was chair bound, was surrounded with praise for his courage, and sympathy for his wound, by his team mates. Nice, but untrue. Comments like ‘God, that’s gross!’, ‘UUUggghhh Kirk that is SO disgusting’ and ‘I think I’m going to throw up’ came thick and fast.

Then we stuck him on his chair in the middle of the pitch and used him as a target for shooting practice. Worked really well.

 

QUOTE OF THE MONTH – OCTOBER

Theo’s big brother Charlie after training one evening:  ‘I thought there were too many hoofed long balls out of defence; they panicked and just booted it up the pitch - typical English defending.’

Manager (slightly hurt):  ‘The boys were playing out of position.’

Charlie:  ‘I was talking about Warwick and Jon Taylor.’

 

DID YOU KNOW … 3

After the match away to Hersham in November, Ross stood on his jeans in a puddle, to get dressed – I just feel his Mum Pauline should know.

QUOTE OF THE MONTH – NOVEMBER

‘Had a bit of a bust up at school rugby yesterday. The other bloke started it – he sat on my face and farted.’

Jon Br

 

OBSESSION- 1

Janet Glover email

Malcolm Re: Odd Sock! I’ve looked for the lost sock but believe I didn’t have it in the first place! Could one of the boys have it or was it left in the club house? Regards, Janet

 

CHRISTMAS CONCERT

A mega big Thank You to everyone who came to the Christmas concert, All the Trimmings!, at the village hall last December. It was quite overwhelming to have a such a great turn-out – all in all we raised around £2,500 for the new pavilion fund.

Particular thanks to several of you who couldn’t make it on the day but sent money anyway, Andy & Janet Glover and Godfrey & Jan Ayres amongst them; it was very much appreciated.  

 

OBSESSION–2

At the Christmas concert, knowing that Steve’s Mum Pat was in the audience, I joked that she was such a fanatical Pompey supporter that she was probably wearing her Portsmouth FC bra – no  cups and very little support. I got an outraged email from husband Dave (see extract below) – not that I had mentioned his wife’s smalls in public, but at the slur on a great club:

 

       

      FA Cup         League Championship      League Championship Nationwide Championship

       1939                    1949                               1950                              2003

 

NORTH NOTES

Talking of the Norths, David (and sometimes Pat) has been our invaluable spy in the opposition camp all season. He often finds himself watching future Chidd opponents while supporting big son Chris, who is a qualified referee, so we get copious and very intelligent notes on what to expect well beforehand.

Lastly, just to round off a great season for the family, Chris North was made Young Referee of the Year by the Guildford Shere & District League this season. 

 

OBSESSION–3

As part of the contract with AB Carpet Cleaning Services, the Manager has his own little green plastic mango juice bottle, clearly marked just for him.  Leave it alone; he looks forward to drinking it at half-times and gets very ratty if it’s already empty.

 

MUSN’T GLOAT

In a training session last February, we decided to have a four-team six-a-side tournament to keep everybody moving. One of the teams was made up entirely of the coaches, with a combined age of about nine hundred and eighty. We won every match. Just thought you should know.

 

QUOTE OF THE MONTH – FEBRUARY

Manager, ‘Hi Jane (Jonny S’s Mum), sorry to bother you, I’m just having a ringround because we think you haven’t paid Jonny’s subs yet. In fact if we don’t get it, we’re sending the heavies round!’

Jane Steel, ‘Ooh, yes please; can I have Julian?’

 

BOOKINGS POLICY

Football is of course a very physical game and, now that the boys are to all intents and purposes young men, we must expect referees to treat them as such if the testosterone starts flying around.

Nevertheless it was a shame to receive our first ever yellow card during the home match against Manorcroft in February. Rupert was unlucky to get booked for a nothingy challenge which the opposition made a meal of, influencing the clearly inexperienced referee. 

  This disappointment was replaced by incredulity in Germany when Richard  got a yellow then Kirk  was sent off (albeit only for two minutes) in a surreal couple of decisions during one match – see match reports. Both completely unjustified.

However this is a good time to let everyone know the club’s policy on fines we get as a result of yellow or red cards:

  If, in the opinion of the coaches, the card is completely unjustified, as with the three boys above, then the club will pay. If, however, we feel the card is justified, the player is liable for the money.

 

MEETING THE STARS J

Great excitement on the touchlines at the game away to Onslow in March. One of the Onslow player’s grandads was there – Dave Hollins, brother of Chelsea and England legend John. Dave was a goalkeeper who played 112 times for Newcastle and 11 times for Wales in the 60’s – the only time that two British brothers have played for different international teams.

Dave was a really nice bloke – rumour had it that at one time he also played for Juventus Reserves and that he once saved from Pelé!

 

OUTSTANDING OATRIDGE

Mike Oatridge recently successfully completed a new FA fast track referees course at Cobham and is now a QUALIFIED REFEREE! Many congratulations to him. He and Warwick ‘Mr Clean’ Hosker can now share duties when we have to provide a ref and we fully expect him to win next season’s … er … Old Referee of the Year Award. 

END OF SEASON ACCOUNTS 2004/5

Here’s where your subs go:

                                                                           £                                      £

Balance at end of 2003/4                            235.34

Income:

Subs                                                           1,275.00

Drinks sponsorship                                          70.00

Barbecue profits                                              40.00       

                                                                                                             1,620.34

Expenditure:

Half-time drinks                                                 70.00

Astroturf and pitch hire                                    731.59

Referees fees                                                  196.00

Player registrations                                            40.00

Referees Course                                               40.00

End of season medals                                       18.00

Pennants/fee for Germany tournament               53.00

Fine (yellow card)                                              8.00

                                                                                                            1,156.59

                                                                                                              

BALANCE AT END OF 2004/5                                                             463.75

 

 

              League Tables 2004 - 2005

Under 15 Premier

 

P

W

D

L

F

A

PTS

G/D

Manorcroft

12

9

2

1

38

17

29

21

Molesey Juniors

12

8

3

1

40

13

27

27

Hersham

12

7

2

3

47

15

23

32

Onslow

12

6

1

5

31

35

19

-4

Teddington

12

4

1

7

19

35

13

-16

Chiddingfold

12

1

2

9

21

48

5

-27

Bookham

12

1

1

10

16

49

4

-33

 

Under 15 Div 1

 

P

W

D

L

F

A

PTS

G/D

Horsley 'A'

14

10

2

2

60

14

32

46

Horsley Colts

14

9

2

3

58

21

29

37

Abbey Rangers

14

9

1

4

59

30

28

29

New Haw

14

6

3

5

44

31

21

13

Real Shepperton

14

5

2

7

23

43

17

-20

Claygate Royals

14

4

3

7

28

44

15

-16

Fetcham Park United

14

4

1

9

31

57

13

-26

GPR

14

1

2

11

20

84

5

-64

GOODBYE’s

Sadly we have to say goodbye to three of the squad’s finest players this summer.

Richard L  has only been with us for one season, during which he made an enormous impact as a talented and hard-working midfielder. Richard was happiest in the thick of the action, where his ball-winning and passing skills were crucial to the team’s success, not to mention his lethal shooting. He could, however, play anywhere, including in goal where he was magnificent against Hersham in March and, towards the end of the season, was asked to carry out specific man marking jobs against certain opponents. One of his finest performances was the tense return game against infamous Molesey recently, when he was asked to take care of the opposition’s most dangerous player. He marked him completely out of the game and won himself the last of his five Man of the Match awards in one season. 

______________________________________________________________________________________

From the moment Reece  started coming to our fun kickabouts in the summer of 2002, he stood out. A lovely touch, excellent awareness, silky smooth passing skills, and a mental toughness which belied his frail looking frame. He always seemed to make the right decision during a game and, from his debut away to Kirdford, he developed into a highly valued member of the first team squad – one particular Man of the Match performance against Hampton Harriers stands out, when he volleyed a stunning Rupert  cross against the crossbar for what would have been one of our best ever goals (Jon Bn snapped up the rebound!) At this season’s barbecue he was a deserved and popular bronze medal winner for Most Improved Player.

Incredibly, all this and he was a full two years younger than most of the boys! At the time he joined us, there wasn’t a local team of the right age group, so he has been gamely battling away with boys two years older than him ever since. Clearly, with his talent he needs to be playing every Sunday, and it looks as though he has finally found suitable teams at Elstead or Milford, either of whom will welcome him with open arms.

(Web Ed ,,, latest rumour says this may not be the end of the story. Keep watching this space)

______________________________________________________________________________________

 

Goalkeeping legend James O burst onto the scene with an extraordinary shot-stopping performance away to Dorking in November 2000. For the next four years he was a regular between the posts, winning many Man of the Match awards, being selected for the GSDL representative side and approaching each game with his trademark willingness and good humour.

Regular newsletter readers will also recall his wide range of interests:

Quote of the Month – March 2002

James O, in thoughtful mood during a training match: ‘Do you know that this ground we’re playing on is made up of dead stuff … dead plants … dead animals … dog poo …’

Captain John Taafe; ‘OK, James, CUT THE SCIENCE!’

And his unfailing courtesy:

Chiddingfold 1   Molesey Juniors 3 (Friendly)

17th November 2002

‘COME ON, BOYS – YOU SHOULD BE FIVE-NIL UP BY NOW!!!!’

Manager

‘I’m sorry about him – he’s our manager you know’

James to the Molesey supporters

Drama and a variety of martial arts (he’s a 7th Dan black belt in origami) have taken over his frantic timetable and he has had to cut down somewhere to make room for school work. He will be very much missed.

James’s parents David & Sally, Reece’s dad Andy & granddad Les and Richard’s parents Ian & Liz will also leave a gap at the club. James, Reece and Richard, of course, have a standing invitation to our training sessions any time they like.

______________________________________________________________________________________

 

QUOTE OF THE MONTH - JUNE

‘As long as it’s not a Playtex!’

Anne Jackson discussing the prize she would be getting for completing this year’s Moon Walk for breast cancer in Hyde Park. Anne did the half marathon, which started at midnight, with some friends.

 

SHORT AND CURLY

James, and little brother Chris, were phenomenal in their school production of Oklahoma recently. James displayed enormous charm and talent, as well as a super singing voice, as the lead, Curly, while Chris, who is 12, was outstanding in the role of Andrew Carnes – an old-timer with a beard and a gravelly voice!

DID YOU KNOW? … 4

Manchester City & England goalkeeper Jim Mitchell is the only man to play for England wearing spectacles, doing so in 1924 when capped against Ireland. He also played in the 1922 Cup Final for West Bromwich Albion wearing them.

 

LOST PROPERTY

WE HAVE A PAIR OF RED TEAM SOCKS MISSING. Also 2 blue bibs, 1 red bib, 1 yellow and 2 green. Kindly search your cupboards.

SUMMER KICKABOUTS

We are holding our usual summer kickabouts every Tuesday at 6.30pm at the top pitch in Combe Lane (where we used to train on Saturday mornings), throughout the summer holidays until proper training starts. Mums and dads, brothers, sisters and friends are all welcome.

TRAINING PROPER STARTS ON TUESDAY 23RD AUGUST, 6.30PM, TOP PITCH AS ABOVE.

WE MOVE TO THE EDGE ON TUESDAY 6TH SEPTEMBER.